Hi, I'm Erin Reiland and wanted to tell you about myself! I became a Certified Food and Body Freedom Coach (specializing in disordered eating and body image), because this is my passion and calling now in life.
I suffered in my eating disorder from 15-35 years old. It was a life of in and out of treatment and I thought I would never recover. My life revolved around food, (restriction to a point I would binge and feel so out of control), over using exercise to loose weight, and abusing diet pills, laxatives and doing ALL the diet programs I could find!
I felt stuck, unworthy, scared to be anything else other than my eating disorder. It had become my identity; who I was. My eating disorder felt "safe" and that it was the only thing I had. It was my best friend and worst enemy. I hated my body and no matter how thin I would get it did not matter. I would find something wrong with it. The scale became my judge of what I was worth. I looked at myself and hated what I saw. So, I would binge because I felt it did not matter what I did because I hated what I looked like anyways.
What I realized though, was that no matter what I did to try and change my body, it was the feelings underneath that needed the love that I wasn't giving myself. My past trauma as a child and other experiences were deeply rooted in who I "thought" I was. I lost so many years of my life to the disorder. It took a good, HARD look in the mirror (not the best analogy, but you get it!), to see how sick I was. I went in for my last residential treatment and was there for 3 months. I chose to go. I was sick of being sick. Even with my eating disorder screaming in my head all of the reasons why I NEEDED "her" in my life-I worked hard to quiet that voice.
I looked at all I had in my life, even at the lowest part of it. I have a son who was beginning to understand that "mom is sick" and he was scared that I was going to die. Being a mother is one of the best gifts I was given. I struggled so much after I had him and learned postpartum depression played into the eating disorder deeply. Resolving and seeing that I was not alone in those feelings that a new mom may have, and accepting and loving myself through it.
My life was so much more than I was giving it a chance to be. I finally was able to get into a recovery mindset, and now be in a place to help others find their purpose and begin to realize that you are so much more than your eating disorder. If I can recover after 20 years of it being my entire life, you can too! I want to show you that there is a way. I get all the fears, and feelings like, "where the heck do I even begin?" that you may have. And that is ok!!!
I am here to go along with you in this. You are not alone. You can finally be free and see life is truly amazing. You deserve more, and I am here to guide you in this journey to freedom. Just allow yourself that chance by dropping me a line and we can chat.